you would pick up someone in the library
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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