HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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