oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
