hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
