what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
