I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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