He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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