just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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