Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Randomize
