He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
