At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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