Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
