then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
