Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
