false alarm. still invincible.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize