dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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