his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I want her autograph on my taint
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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