therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
