Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
