I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
