k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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