bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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