Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I would ride that face into the sunset
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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