We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
