My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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