I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
