At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
