Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
