You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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