your parents love me but you hate me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
