If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
