I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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