Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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