Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
