whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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