when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
