How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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