I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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