I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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