he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
that may or may not have been my penis.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
