I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
