Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Randomize
