problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
