Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
