unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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