theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
