In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
