Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
