he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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