it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
