I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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